You Are Your Best Advocate

 Photo Credit- Katja Anokhina- Unsplash

You are your strongest advocate if you'll cultivate your voice!

Have you ever asked someone to put in a good word for you? Perhaps you petitioned a colleague, church member, or sorority member to endorse you for a position or role you were interested in. Even if someone recognizes your potential and endorses you, when the time comes you need to validate their confidence and if you cannot, of what value was their endorsement? Please understand me, there’s nothing wrong with a good referral. But there’s a difference between a referral and relying on others to advocate for you. I believe you are your best advocate if you cultivate your voice.

I’m reminded of Joseph’s experience in Genesis 40. He was imprisoned and while there, he did a favor for a fellow prisoner. When the fellow was released, Joseph asked that he do him a favor of speaking to Pharoah on his behalf when he got his audience. But the former inmate forgot about Joseph and his favor. It was two years later before he spoke up for Joseph. You may be waiting for someone to put in a good word for you and speak on your behalf but what you truly want is the opportunity to speak and shine for yourself. Now, when the opportunity arises, you must be ready.

Advocacy is not arrogance and arrogance is not advocacy.

I remember a job performance evaluation I had with one of the toughest and best bosses I have ever had in my entire career. In that evaluation, I felt I should have received a higher performance rating than he gave. I struggled terribly to advocate for the rating that I believed I deserved. We finally got to the place I deserved and he laughed. I was so taken aback! I looked and felt puzzled along with anger. He said these words that I still carry. “It’s a poor frog that won’t croak on its own lily pad. You advocate for children and parents every day in this job yet won’t advocate for yourself.” What a lesson.

We are born with a voice and express it the moment we enter the world.

Over the past four years or so, I have heard a lot of folk say that they’ve found or are finding their voice. I believe that we don’t lose our voices. Our life experiences mold it, condition it, and erroneously define it. It speaks where it is most comfortable. I tell my mentees that perhaps their voice was never lost, but went unheard, disrespected, silenced, or unaccepted for various reasons, to the point of becoming so faint that it simply became inaudible for them.

You know the story but it isn’t yours.

Have you ever tried to recount someone’s story to other folk because it was just so beautiful, or so rich or, it was so funny? So, as you’re telling the story you find yourself turning to the person and saying, “You tell it because you can tell it better.” You know the facts but you can’t genuinely capture their emotions or their perspective. The best voice to tell the story is the one to whom the story belongs. Write your blog. Author your book. Tell your story because someone is waiting to read it.

It’s okay to champion your cause

I am an active supporter of three nonprofits and a mentor to parents, professionals, and folk on their faith journey. I have noticed that people readily champion the causes of others without hesitancy but have difficulty championing their own causes. I know of someone who fearlessly raised oodles of money for fundraisers but was afraid to present a business proposal to a potential funder. Advocating for yourself is as important as other causes for which you use your voice. That is a fine way to think, feel, and live.

Here are some questions that may help you to begin to understand and explore the qualities and characteristics of your voice.

• What does your voice sound like to you? What does it sound like to others? Would you/they say it is articulate? Dynamic? Fluent? Loquacious? Uplifting? Harsh? Influential? Hesitant? Maundering? Loud? Soft-spoken?

• What artificial limitations restrict your voice? Fear? Lack of or unused opportunities? Do you feel that you don’t deserve to be heard?

• When in a social setting do people leave your company knowing anything of substance about you? Do you share beyond your job title or description? What types of folk do you seek to engage with in social settings?

• How does your voice serve you best? Negotiator? Storyteller? Encourager? Calming agent? Instructor? Advocate?
  

Here’s my wrap-up

You really are your best advocate. Your unique perspective and expression hold significance. Your thoughts and ideas are important. Your voice is powerful and makes a difference. Practice using it even when nervous and afraid. As a journaling exercise, recall times you used it and it was effective. Those were your wins!

Always encouraging reflection,

WandaP