We’re very familiar with the cliche, “ Play the hand you’ve been dealt.” It seems to have a bit of a negative connotation similar to, “It is what it is.” That’s never been the case for me because I grew up playing cards.
I lived in a home with a mom who loved to entertain family and friends after my stepfather left us. My mom never learned to drive so our house was the gathering place. And what a lively place it could be! The soulful music of The Temptations, Smokey Robinson, Aretha Franklin, and Betty Wright were just a few of her favorites that would get her dancing. When the right song was played a Soul Train/conga line would break out that circled from the living room, down the hall, through the kitchen and dining room. These were times when my mother was happiest.
In addition to music, food was also memorable. Wings, meatballs, cheese trays, finger sandwiches, and potato salad; always Aunt Ann’s southern mouth-watering potato salad. But my mom had brothers who lived up north and would always come home at Christmas. So their presence changed the menu. Mom always cooked the pig feet and chitterlings, their favorites, while the other ladies provided their specialties; ham, potato salad, macaroni, finger sandwiches, and bean pies to name a few. It was nothing for my mom to cook at least 100 pounds of chitterlings for their visits because she wanted everybody to have enough and for her brothers to have some to freeze and take back home.
Soul music, rhythmic dancing, and delectable food, what else would you need? A card game! My mom and her brothers were bona fide card sharks. They started playing cards when they were young adults despite their mother’s religious principles. So cards were a part of our family fabric. My uncle from Philly was a trash talker who bluffed a lot. My Maryland uncle was quiet but had nonverbal mannerisms that spoke for him. My mom, aunt, and uncle in Charlotte were the more subdued poker-faced players. When those siblings got together the room was oh-so animated!
House party card games were serious business for that crew. When they played everybody became their audience. For us, it was like watching world-famous Poker players at the tables in Vegas. Bid Whist and Spades were the games of choice. As the young adult cousins matured in our skills, we eventually earned the privilege of playing at the “Big Table.”
Enlightenment
The game starts with dealing and everybody gets a chance to be the dealer. Now a clean dealer has no control over how the cards fall. But something happens when it’s your turn to be the dealer. You either feel positive about being in control of the deal or stressed about making things happen with the deal. This is an illusion. You have no control over the deal, just a chance to deal. There are always chances, opportunities, and options.
Once you’ve gotten your cards you have to bid which is simply speculating an outcome. You’re hypothesizing how well you can manage your hand while considering that the other three players with the same number of cards are in charge of managing their hand as well. To manage as best you can requires strategy because bidding is risk-taking. You have to keep up with the board or as my Philly Uncle would vehemently say, “Watch the board” and “Play your hand.” Watching the board means keeping a mental note of which cards have been played, who played them, who cut the book, and who played off. In other words, stay focused and pay attention to what’s going on around you. You are presented with opportunities to decide when to adjust your play. Do you lead with your winning card or wait to see what your partner is holding? Random playing and playing with timidity tends to end with a losing hand even though you may have had the cards necessary to win the hand. Whatever cards I am dealt, winning hand or not, manage strategically; consider timing and calculation, and make necessary adjustments. By the way, if you choked or reneged on a play, it would be a long time before you played at the Adult Table again.
I have had some unfavorable, even what felt like losing hands dealt to me over my lifetime, and have wondered, what in the world am I to do with this? And the answer was always to play my hand.
Reiteration
Come to terms with what you do and do not have control over. Amen.
Keep in mind that you are privy to your hand only. But in many cases, you may have a divinely assigned partner who just might have the card you need to keep you in the game. That card might be a resource they can offer, a prayer, a loan, or joining you on a medical appointment.
At different junctures in the game, you’ll have chances, opportunities, and options. Those are reliable cards in the game of life even when you can’t see them.
Watch the board. This is especially important regarding your health and wealth.
Don’t play to not lose, that’s avoidance and fear of failure. Manage your hand strategically. Play to win one book at a time. And then don’t forget to celebrate your wins!
Always encouraging reflection,
WandaP