In the Silence of the Womb

"Silence is the womb where words that are true are born."

Father Emiliano Antenucci

This time last year, I was waiting with great anticipation, for the birth of my first grandchild. During Advent, many of us reflect on humanity’s wait for the birth of Christ, the One who would radically change the world. I believe humanity also waits for Christ in us to be born, so that our world can continue to be transformed.

Thus, I was inspired by both the season and my daughter’s pregnancy to write this poem, where my contemplative unfolding and the birth progression of an expectant mother are likened to each other.

The Silence of the Womb

I do not understand but here I am, be it unto me. I feel nothing different. I see nothing different. But I trust that The Spirit is working. Trust, that God’s gift to mankind dwells within me and by his Spirit moves within me to think differently, to see differently, to live differently. So, I show up and surrender to the silence of the womb.

I sense your grace, though you are just a bean. The emotional swings are driving me crazy. My thoughts are sometimes overwhelming. How many times must I utter “the sacred word?” Yet, here I am. I consent to your presence, in the silence of the womb.

You’re growing. I feel your movements. I am waiting to see your eyes. What shape? What color? How will they see your neighbor? What will your lips that kiss my cheeks feel like? What words will be spoken from them? Will they be words of hate or love? What will you do with the thoughts of your mind, what voices will your ears acknowledge? Will your heart flow with the love of your Creator? So many questions, to be answered in the silence of the womb.

When will this transformed life come forth? I am so uncomfortable. I cannot sleep. I am tired. I want to cry. I want to scream. I groan. But I am not alone. There are others and we are groaning together.

“A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.”

So, I call for Labor. But do I understand what I am calling for? Labor, the sweat and pain of opening the womb to this world. She comes. The a-doula joins her. She whispers push peace, push kindness, push patience, push goodness, push love. Yes, push, birthing must bring forth that which was formed in the silence to be the change in the world.

Photo by KaLisa Veer at Unsplash

During this Advent season, consider carving out time to be still in the silence, to be alone with Him who loves us so dearly. Nothing to do but show up. Nothing to bring but your heart.

Always encouraging reflection,

WandaP

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